The Many Fascinating Sights of Korea

One of the nice things about living in South Korea is that you get to explore new culinary delights that you cannot find in any other land. Take the photo on the left here as an example. I found this very interesting, nostalgic Korean cuisine establishment called Sbarro, which I believe translates to "the place called Sbarro". They have very authentic Korean food here like this one dish they call "pee-zah". They also have a noodle meal here they named "spa-keh-ti", which, according to a wandering minstrel I came across, told me this name was from the ancient Korean god "Spackiata" who used to keep the roads safe from falling asphalt. Supposedly, there was a rash of falling asphalt tragedies in the 2nd century B.C.

This second "only in Korea" restaurant I found is one of those that can only be found after a ten mile trek through the jungle, past the Idol of Death(TM), after sneaking past the Primitives Who Worship the Idol of Death(TM), and then over a bridge made of straw that was described in the tourist manual as "The Bridge of Faith". The Koreans call this restaurant "KFC", but I inquired inside and no one could tell me what the letters stood for. Obviously, the "K" must stand for Korea, but I'm not sure what the F and C might stand for. I tried to engage the restaurant personnel in conversation, but they kept pointing to pictures of food and then asking me if I wanted "Number One-see, Two-see," and a couple of other things I could not make out. The food I ate there tasted amazingly like what we have back in the states and call chicken. I found this amazing because in all of my travels, I have never discovered another food anywhere that has had a taste similar to chicken. Crepes d' Suzette, yes, as everyone knows almost everything tastes like Crepes d' Suzette, but nothing I've come across can even come close to capturing that unique, distinctive chicken taste. But this place did it, and I can only imagine that this recipe they used must have been passed down the ages amongst elders. This got me to thinking that perhaps this may have been the true rosetta stone to describe the migration patterns of human kind. I mean, perhaps humans did not migrate because they were seeking new lands, but because they had a special chicken recipe and they needed to spread it to other lands. Definitely something to think about. I must write a paper on this one day.

I managed to find another phenomenon in Korea that I know people back in the west will definitely find a bit curious. In November, these people here worship this strange guy who dresses in red, stands in large shopping malls and then poses for pictures with people. He has this really long beard, although no Koreans have beards of their own, and I'm not sure what he says to these people, but I get the impression he's some kind of politician because he keeps promising to give them things, and I'm sorry, but no matter how rich this guy is, no one can afford to give the amount of stuff to people that this guy is promising. These people are going to be so pissed after the election.

I did find one really curious thing about this guy. He seems to have convinced people that everywhere he stands there is snow, or some kind of white powder that appears around him. This got me thinking that perhaps he's some kind of glorified cocaine dealer, and that's how he pays for all of the presents that he promises people. It's kind of like Pablo Escobar in Colombia when he would build sports stadiums for the citizens to show them that they, too, benefited from his illegal drug deals. This guy is not only nefarious, but he sounds like he's pretty dangerous and cares little for the law and the welfare of others. When Obama takes over, I hope he realizes that we might have to go in and eradicate this guy before he hurts more of these innocent Korean people.

One thing I did discover is that his "smoke" is not real. You see these two culprits here he has working for him? They have large bottles of smoke spray, and they spray it whenever this coke dealer starts talking to the civilians. This gives the impression that there is a wave of smoke, or snow as the druggies like to call it. They've really thought this whole thing through.

Well, I thought you might all like a little trip through one of my wanderings in Korea. As you can see, I am learning a great deal of information about this very foreign land. I hope to continue to enlighten the rest of you about how foreign it really is.

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